Chuck Norris jokes

[Humlejægeren]

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When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the beer doesn't get him drunk. The beer gets Chuck-Noirrised.

Your favorite beer style is whatever Chuck Norris is drinking.

The human bitterness threshold is 100 IBU's. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris tastes as much bitterness as he wants.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

If you have 5 beers and Chuck Norris has 5 beers, Chuck Norris has more beer than you.

Chuck Norris' favorite beer is Broken Glass.

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick a glass bomber into a 6-pack...of cans!

Chuck Norris can boil wort in his bare hands.

Chuck Norris rejects Arrogant Bastard. It's just not worthy.

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with DFH 120 IPA

Chuck Norris solved the shortage by growing hops from his beard.

Chuck Norris pisses 12 bottles of Dark lord a day. That is why it is so scarce. You have to fight him for it or steal it while he sleeps.

Chuck Norris can eat hops, barley, yeast, and water and piss Russian Imperial Stout in a matter of minutes.

Chuck Norris can open a bottle by looking at it.

Chuck Norris can leave a pint of beer on a table for days. If he WANTS it to stay cold and carbonated, it STAYS cold and carbonated.

Chuck Norris' Guinness is carbonated with nitroglycerin.

When Chuck Norris says he's buying a 6 pack for the game, he's talking about BARRELS.

Chuck Norris can roundhouse a 4-pack of DFH 90 Minute IPA into one bottle of 360 Minute IPA.

Anyone who pisses off Chuck Norris gets handed a Dead Guy Ale.

Chuck Norris thinks Avery Beast isn't hot enough.

Chuck Norris can force carbonate with a harsh glance.

Chuck Norris can ferment unfermentables.

Chuck Norris' table beer is made from the second washing of Charles Bronson.

Chuck Norris grinds his grain with his teeth, and boils the wort with his rage.

Everyone loved the first batch Chuck Norris brewed. Then he killed them all with a swift roundhouse kick. All went to heaven with no regrets.

Chuck Norris has no need for lauter tuns. The grains release the sugars out of fear.

Chuck Norris cellars all his beer in his beard.

Sam Adams Utopias is actually just Miller High Life tapped through a Randel filled with the beard trimmings of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris uses 120 minute IPA as a palet cleanser.

When Chuck Norris orders a beer, the beer pays him.

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever beat Andre the Giant in a drinking contest. And he did it by a two case margin.

When Chuck Norris pours a bottle conditioned beer into a glass, the yeast stays in the bottle out of fear.

Chuck doesn't use a bottle opener to open his bottles; he just bites the top of the bottle off (then chews AND eats the glass).

Chuck Norris knows the location of the Lost Abbey

[BeerMan]

LOL
Har i set den her rap battle med Chuk, EPIC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2Zf9tlg2Y
Chuck norris dosent battle, he allows you to lose :)

[Humlejægeren]

LOL
Har i set den her rap battle med Chuk, EPIC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2Zf9tlg2Y
Chuck norris dosent battle, he allows you to lose :)

HEHE cool

[Tiedt]

Kender i det døde hav? det har Chuck Slået ihjel.
eller alperne? dem har Chuck bygget...og nu vi er i gang så har han malet det røde hav og fået stillehavet til at holde kæft... FORDI CHUCK SIGER DET.